Please don't eat me

I have a wife and children.....Eat them!!!

And a cookie goes to you if you can tell me where that is from.

Snobs

Let's face it. There are just some things we cannot do without. Where we won't settle for anything less.

Some of mine, for example:

-Tissues: Have to be Puffs. They just feel better than all the others.
-Bottled water: I don't care what you say, they do not all taste the same. Some of those I despise are Dannon and Berkley&Jenson.
-Oreos: Have to be just that, oreos. None of this store brand crap.
-Butter: Is no less healthy than margarine, so butter me up baby!
-Bacon: Pork, thank you. None of this turkey stuff.

The gf and I call it being snobs (i.e. a tissue snob, or a water snob, etc etc). What can I say? I can be particualr about a few things.

No!

Mom: So what else is new?
Me: Oh, I forget to tell you. We're getting another pet.
Mom: NOOOOOOO!!!
Me: It's a tortoise.
Mom: Ooooh! Cute! Will I get to see it when I visit?

I love my mom. As long as we get scaly cute animals she doesn't care.

Examples of scaly non cute animals, to my mother, are my snakes. Those she could do without.

Thought

Was originally titled 'Question' but then I realized I never actually asked something.

(Girls, pretend you are guys for a moment. Guys, try not to cringe.)

You are 27 years old.

You have three kids with one woman.

And you have another possible 2 kids with another woman. (She says they are yours, but it is unproven).

Now, one would think you would be a little more careful in the sex department.


But no, you go and get a third girl pregnant.

I mean, it just sort of boggles my mind. Maybe because I don't have to worry about something like that.

Let's face it, if my girlfriend or I were to become pregnant, it would a) be a miracle or b) someone would be in a world of trouble.

Wow

Get in line, ladies. This one is a keeper.

o/` Cheney's Got A Gun o/`

Sing with me now

When it Rains, It F-ing Pours

Stupid computer.

It turns out it is the whole flippin' thing, rather than what I thought was just a busted monitor.

I am going to be amazingly upset if I can't recover anything from it.

Love is in the air

I read somewhere that if you are having an affair with someone, that you take them out tonight. Supposdedly it is a tradition. Take the tart on the side out the day before Valentine's, and actually spend valentine's with the one you are attempting to continue to whamboozle.

Woohoo romance.

But I think we are all missing the point of Valentine's Day. And I think I said the same thing last year.

On the 15th all the candy will be half off.

Blasted Technology

My stupid computer monitor died, and since this month is oh so hellish as far as bills are concerned, I won't be replacing it any time soon.

Until then, prostrate yourselves and make sacrifices until I return.

$%&#* Car

I am so very mad at it right now.

Because of said car, and repairs to it, I cannot afford to get the valentine's gift I wanted for my girl.

Oh, there will be a gift. Just not the one I had intended.

Looks like my streak of truly awesome gifts may be ending.

Let's See

What's new...

Saw 'Brokeback Mountain.' Good movie, but very sad. Next on the list to see is 'Imagine Me and You.'

Superbowl is tonight. Steelers are currently winning. Let's hope it stays that way.

Less than 4 weeks until vacation. Cannot frickin' wait.

Besides that, life isn't too bad.