That's All Folks

I don't think I'll be posting here again for a long time.

Maybe even never again.

I'll be posting on my other blog for the time being scorpiondreams.blogspot.com

Goodbye

Would you stay at the sight of your greatest defeat?

To be broke financially and broken emotionally
And yet my pride isn't letting me leave this place

Everyone keeps telling me that I haven't wasted the time I've spent here
Then how else do I explain that I have done nothing but lose for the last two years
If that isn't a waste, I honestly don't know what is

Yeah, I needed this...

[January 10, 2007 19:51] Me: because the PTBs obviously don't hate me enough
[January 10, 2007 19:51] *** Auto-response from Shawn: Here lies the Idealist....may he rest in peace, the world was too much for him.
[January 10, 2007 19:52] Me: I found the valentine's card she gave me last year
[January 10, 2007 19:52] Me: and the card she gave me when she betrayed my trust by spying on my computer
[January 10, 2007 19:52] Me: and the finale
[January 10, 2007 19:53] Me: the specs for the engagement ring she wanted
[January 10, 2007 19:53] Me: 2-3 mm band, yellow gold or platinum, tiffany setting, round cut, 1ct wt
[January 10, 2007 19:53] Me: in case you were curious
[January 10, 2007 19:55] Me: [omitted]
[January 10, 2007 19:56] Me: my therapist is going to have a field day on monday
[January 10, 2007 19:56] Me: and I have a date with some Ben and Jerry's

Hips don't Lie

Shakira makes me want to speak spanish ;)



Ladies up in here tonight
No fighting, no fighting
We got the refugees up in here
No fighting, no fighting

Shakira, Shakira

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man wants to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Hey Girl, I can see your body moving
And it's driving me crazy
And I didn't have the slightest idea
Until I saw you dancing

And when you walk up on the dance floor
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl
And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it
So you can keep on taking it

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel you boy
Come on lets go, real slow
Don't you see baby asi es perfecto

Oh I know I am on tonight my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection 
Shakira, Shakira

Oh boy, I can see your body moving
Half animal, half man
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain

Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle de día

Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle de día

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You know you got me hypnotized
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you
come from Colombia

Mira en Barranquilla se baila así, say it!
Mira en Barranquilla se baila así

Yeah
She's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee like me back
with the Fugees from a 3rd world country
I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty
I need a whole club dizzy
Why the CIA wanna watch us?
Colombians and Haitians
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction
No more do we snatch ropes
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats

I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel you boy
Come on let's go, real slow
Baby, like this is perfecto

Oh, you know I am on tonight and my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
The attraction, the tension
Baby, like this is perfection

No fighting
No fighting

Happy New Year.

I am back from NY. Had a very good time, but the trip is very tiring. Especially when you have to lug all the things you brought back up a couple flights of stairs.

There are few things better than a hot shower and then a hot cup of tea.

Except maybe someone to share it with.

Lips of an Angel

By Hinder


Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?


----

Sometimes it's like a song is speaking directly to you.

I was the girl in the next room.

Someone my ex used to fool around with came back into her life. And when that happened, my ex didn't tell her she was involved with, and living with, me. At least not right away.

Boy if that wasn't a clue she didn't want to be with me. I knew it, but instead decided to trust her.

And then breaking up, and I quote, 'logistically it would be a nightmare.'

Heh, taught me a lesson now didn't it?

This same ex sent my parents a Christmas card. Which is both sad and made me laugh hysterically. She and I don't speak anymore, and quite possibly never will again. But she sent the card because my family made her feel like more a part of us than her own family did.

But she gave up on me, on us, and on the family she's always wanted.

Part 2

Just a follow up to Part 1, on my other blog.

A preconceived notion I had was the romanticized thought that I would meet the person I was going to marry in college. That is what happened with my parents, and come this August they will have been married 32 years. And growing up I couldn't help but think how truly awesome that was, especially considering that half [or a little bit more] of all marriages end in divorce.

It almost happened to me, but not quite.

Then again, maybe I was looking for something that was never really there. As is so often the case, fantasy rarely lives up to reality.

Boston is Bitter

And it makes me laugh

"Sparky, it's $5 a minute to stare in public. But it's free in private. Mmmmrowr!"

Happy anniversary to Kylie and her hubby.


Thanks for giving me hope.

I forgot to mention

Daniel Craig is hot.

I wasn't sure how I would like blonde Bond. But ooooh baby is he ever eye candy.

This Made Me Laugh

especially the last paragraph.


Breakups: How men deal
By Steve Friedman

Let's say you didn't find him in bed with your best friend. Let's say he didn't discover that you had "borrowed" his credit card and run up a $1,000 bill at your favorite spa. Those are special cases. No, let's assume this breakup was, like most breakups, difficult and heartbreaking—but in your better moments, you have to admit this guy had some good points. You miss him. And if you're like most women, you may also be wondering: Does he miss me, too? How is he handling this delicate post-relationship period that many women fill with crying jags, supportive girlfriends, and more than a few Cosmopolitans? And how should you deal with him during this tough time? Allow me to fill you in.

I admit it: My last breakup found me downing pints of peanut-butter-cup ice cream late at night, trying to cling to memories of the bad times so I could stop obsessing about her long, smooth legs and the way she cried at Harry Potter movies. Even though the breakup was "mutual," I couldn't stop thinking about her. As hard as it was, I forced myself not to call. And then, in the predawn darkness, I found myself on the receiving end of a 3 a.m. phone call from her. Worse, I found myself seriously entertaining her drunken entreaties. She took a taxi over wearing God knows what under a trench coat, and it wasn't until my hand was about to open my front door lock that I suddenly remembered — seeing the vodka flush on her neck — why we broke up in the first place.

From that close call, I made up Rule #1: Both men and women are better off having no contact with the ex right after the breakup. Especially after dark, especially when she's wearing God knows what under a trench coat. If you've both agreed, "We'll just be friends," it's even dicier.

"It's impossible to be friends with an ex!" exclaim many. My friend Al takes exception to this rule. Al's motto is, "We're all adults. And adults do stupid things. So let's not blame each other."

Al is the kind of guy who didn't show up when his girlfriend's parents were in town, the one you finally wrote off as a calloused, shallow player. Suddenly, he calls to tell you, breathily, that he's thinking of you. Can you trust him? No matter how sincere he sounds, force yourself to remember the night your co-worker busted him at a club with young Bambi—the same the night he begged off on dinner with you because he had the "flu." Among his guy friends, Al is known as "The Hound," and he receives from we men a certain appalled and loathing awe. From you, he should receive bupkis, especially if he comes knocking after a breakup. Tempting as it may be to be wooed by someone you recently separated from, please consider what I've deemed Rule #2: The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. So unless you're longing for a steady diet of heartbreak soup, tell your ex when he comes calling that you've got company, and that you'll call him back in a minute. Then don't.

The truth, however, is that most of us are not hounds. No, we're as confused as you are. That explains why, when we're longing for you, we watch hours of football on TV. Or bury ourselves in our work at the office. Or pull out the ice cream. Most of us miss you.

Most of us wish we could give it another chance, and that this time, it would work. So the question you must be wondering is, should you believe him if he calls trying to reconcile?

In short: probably not. In fact, in my experience, the more dramatic his gesture to "make things work this time," the less likely he'll be able to follow through. Case in point: 15 years ago, a week before my ex's wedding, I called to propose marriage myself. But that offer was worth less than the quarters I desperately pumped into the bar pay phone. Here's another hint: When it feels like a desperate move on his part, it is. Desperate moves are not good moves.

Of course, everyone knows an exception—stories of love lost then found again that give us hope. For two years, this guy named Tom was the perfect boyfriend to my friend Christina. When Christina pushed for a bigger commitment, Tom bailed, but six months later, he was calling, writing, emailing, sending flowers. Christina was the best thing that ever happened to him. Having been in therapy three times a week, he'd finally conquered his commitment-phobia. He wanted to be with her more than he wanted anything in his life.

Christina took a chance. They just celebrated their five-year anniversary. Was your former relationship like theirs—damaged, but not irreparable? It's certainly tempting to think so. But in my experience, it's highly unlikely. Highly, highly, highly unlikely.

Which leads me to Rule #3, which is really less a rule than a speech. To me, this is what a guy wants to hear after a breakup: "Honey, I hope someday we can be friends, because in addition to all the love and resentment and hard times we went through, I think you're a great guy. But right now, I need to get over you. Maybe in six months or so, we can get together for lunch and laugh about all this, but right now, I'm too busy crying." Sad, but dignified. Hurt, but decent. Firm, but gentle. Because the truth is, I've heard stories of couples who broke up but got back together and are still going strong. I've heard about couples who broke up then smoothly transitioned to become friends or even the occasional booty call. I've also heard about unicorns frolicking under the stars in Central Park. I've heard about this stuff, but — beyond Christina and Tom — I've rarely actually seen it. So delete his emails, his number from your cell phone, and any other reminders that might make you slip back into something that clearly wasn't working the first time around. That opens the door to the better things that are yet to come.

Steve Friedman is the author of The Gentleman's Guide to Life.

Sadness

My body was rejecting my piercing. So rather than just waiting until it fell out I removed it this evening. I'm bummed, because I really liked it.

Something else that has given up on me. Go figure.

"Define irony."

"Words being spelled wrong in a dictionary."

'Tis the Season

No one in my family has asked me what I want for Christmas.

Sadly, I think I will be getting either nothing, or money. I'm not knocking money, because I need it. But I feel bad mooching off everyone. And it isn't like I could use to buy something I want. It would be spent on things like rent, or food, or what have you.

Sex with men is like the SATs:

Show up on time.
Do the best you can.
And when I say stop, put your little pencil down.

Best
Birthday
Card
Ever


Shawn rules. Oh yes, he does.

But my Keira-Knightly-wrapped-in-a-big-red-bow present seems to have gotten lost in the mail.

;)

Bending the Landscape

I don't know if you have heard of this series. There are three books [Horror, Sci-Fi and Fantasy] which are made up of short stories. All three books are edited by Nicola Griffith and Stephen Pagel

If you should ever pick them up, I recommend these stories in particular:

Time Gypsy [Sci-Fi] - My favorite so far
Silent Passion [Sci-Fi]
Love's Last Farewell [Sci-Fi]
Blood Requiem [Horror]
'Til Death [Horror]
Passing [Horror] - This one kept me up at night. Seriously.

I'm still making my way through the Fantasy one. I'll let you know which one's I recommend when I am through.

500th Post

And I am going to write about white hats.

If you are going to a movie by yourself, on a Saturday, wear a white hat. If you see someone else with a white hat, go and talk to them. Ask them how they are, and if they ever visit postsecret. [go and read this week's postings to understand what I am talking about]

Perhaps there will be a revolution.
Perhaps not.
If nothing else, it would be nice to see we are not alone.


---
Here's to [hopefully] another 500 posts.