Happy Holidays

May you be spending it with those you care about.

When you don't have the spine

or another part of the anatomy to tell them yourself.

You can't call it cheating, she reminds me of you

Those lyrics from the Gin Blossoms always makes me laugh.

But seriously.

The gf and I were out shopping the other day and she told me never to cheat on her. This disturbed me, and still does, because I have never, ever even entertained the notion.

But this made me think.

There are several people I know who cheat, or would cheat, without giving it a second's thought. We can all say one thing and do another completely different. We're exlusive, until someone else comes along I want to bang. Wedding rings go from 'to death do us part' to 'we gave it a go for a few years, but I'll take half your money, the kids and the dog and be done with it.'

Maybe human beings weren't meant to be, or try to be, monogamous. Diamonds aren't forever, just until you can get it appraised after the breakup.

"Commitment is like a ham and eggs breakfast. The chicken was involved, but the pig was commited."

I was random blogging it again today and stumbled across this

Truer words were never spoken

The Reckoning

From an episode of Medium.

It's you and me
and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me
and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you - You and Me, Life House

---

Nadine: You're not going to find her here. Melanie's fine, she's safe. She's where she's supposed to be. Finally.

Allison: How about you?

Nadine: Me? I'm still adjusting, getting...used to the idea. Trying to accept what he did. *sigh* You know, it took me almost 27 minutes to die. He sat beside me holding my hand for 27 minutes while I tried to hang on. Listening for the sirens that never came. But I guess I had it coming. I should have come forward, to the police, and told them what we'd done. That's all Melanie wanted. She never meant to hurt me. That day that you and I met in the restaurant? She arranged that, you know. And the business with your headlight [going out]? She was giving me a chance to confess. A chance to live. And I didn't take it. *sigh* And now Melanie's parents will never know who took their child from them.

Allison: What happens to your husband?

Nadine: He had a chance too. Today, with you, in the room. He had a chance and he didn't take it. *sigh* So now I guess it is up to me.

Allison: I don't understand. What are you going to do?? Obviously he is not afraid of ghosts.

Nadine: He's not afraid of flickering lights, or music. But, if someone, or something, was to blow out the pilot light in the old stove in our kitchen, and James were to have a cold, not smell the gas, let it fill the room, and James were to light a cigarette? *sirens in the background* I wonder what those sirens are about. *pause* You smell something?

Under the Sea

Me: Would you spend $7000 a night to stay in an underwater hotel?
SB: For $7000 dollars a night, the bed had better have sex with me.


Apparently Sebatian was right. It is better down where it's wetter.

Holiday Card No-No

I have a story for you.

My cousin D. and her boyfriend sent out Christmas cards.

On said card was a picture of their cat and rabbit with a festive background.

The only problem was that the rabbit was humping the cat and the caption said "Merry f***ing Christmas." Except without the letter omissions.

Now, I did not get a card myself. My mother relayed this to me because she got a card.

After she told me a horrifying thought occured. I quickly asked if they had sent one to my grandmother (D.'s great aunt).

Yes. Yes they had.

My 80 year old grandmother had just returned from South Carolina, from where she was attending the funeral of her older sister. When she got home she was greeted by various sympathy cards, and holiday cards.

My mother spoke with my grandmother, thinking she surely had not gotten the same card she had. Oh, but she did. Not only that, she actually read the card over the phone to my mother.

Grandma does not swear. Or, as my mother said, would not say 'sh**' if she had a mouthful.

I was both cracking up and horrified at the same time.

So, I want to take some of my stuffed animals, have them mount each other and write 'Merry f-ing Xmas' on it. Just one though. :D

And I am certainly not sending it to Grandma.

It's That Time of Year Again

How in the hell did it get to be December?