Mistakes

Been fun, hasn't it?



Well

not really



We can always pretend though

Auntie

I'm going to be an aunt...

...in about 5 years.


My sister-in-law came over for a visit (finally). Supposedly, my brother has this plan. They are going to have 2 children, 1.5-2 years apart, when they are in the late 20's. Gregory is always very specific when it comes to what he wants. I laughed when Melissa said "Yeah, Greg? I'd like to see you have them."


Me: So do you want boys, or girls or one of each?

(other) Melissa: Boys, I think. One of each might be nice, but I don't want to fall into that trap of boys playing with trucks and girls playing with dolls.

Me: They won't have that problem with me as an aunt.



It's good that they talk about these things though. Their 2 year anniversary is in April.

On a slightly scary side note, a cousin of mine, who is only 6 months older than Greg, is having a baby in...about a month and a half I think. Which is scary.

Very scary.

Photograph

9-23-02
slightly edited

Smiles and pleasantries are exchanged in passing because the places we are at in our lives do not permit for much, if anything, more.Perhaps we will go to our respective homes and flip through our respective photo albums, trying to recapture something long lost. Smiling back at ourselves through the years, wondering how we ended up where we are from there.

I shut the album and it will go back on my shelf until such a time that I am reminded of you once again. A sight, a smell, a random thought that drags to the surface something I at one point tried so hard to bury.I am stuck wondering why some people can only come back to us as younger friends.

Through glossy and ever fading pieces of paper.

Memories made tangible.

Time To Get On With It

Christmas is small again this year. Small because family and friends are missing.

Next year it will be smaller still.

Gifts

I'm actually semi decent at the whole 'what to buy everyone for Christmas' deal...when I have to be.

General rule is that if you tell me you want something, you will most likely get it. I'm a big believer in getting people what they ask for specifically. It takes a little away on the surprise front, but I'd rather they be happy with it.

Last year I did particularly well, I thought, especially in regards to two of my friends.

This year though, I'm not really sure how I did. It seemed more of a chore than years past. Not that I begrudge buying gifts, it just didn't come as easily as it used to.

Less people to buy for this year too. Shame, that.




And tomorrow marks the half-way point between Megan's birthday and mine. Meg is notoriously hard to shop for [and also never tells me what she wants for her birthday].

And she'll be 25. I'm just not ready for that. I mean, who the hell she was allowed to turn a quarter of a century old all ready? Not me, that's for damn sure.

Unpleasant Business

can wait until after the holidays.

It's been waiting for 4 months now. A little longer won't really matter.

Nan

Had lunch with my great aunt yesterday. This will be the first Christmas without her husband, who passed away in July [his was the second funeral I've ever been to]

She misses him so much.


[side note: It got me thinking. I've never spent a Christmas with anyone. And by that I mean, actually waking up with them on Christmas day. Never spent New Years with anyone either.]


She just looks so broken sometimes. And it's nothing anyone of us can fix.

Greg will be home in January. He and I and probably Chris will go up to visit her, maybe with Mom and Dad in tow. Besides being our great aunt, she's been a surogate grandmother to us, since my grandmother (Nan's older sister) passed away when I was six.

Just wish I could help, I guess.

Jen

It's nice having a coworker whom you are actually glad to see.

Shocking, I know.

E10

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick??)
*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than "going blind!")
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did the govt. pay for this research??)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



And for those of you who don't understand why I titled this the way I did...
'E10' was the letter/number combination selection for the condoms they sold in the dorm vending machines.

Trickster

[exiting the biology building. Jen stops short and looks around]

Me: What's the matter?

Jen: That's not where I parked my car.

Me: Are you sure?

Jen: Positive.

Me: Want me to walk with you?

Jen: Yes, please.

***

Turns out Jen's boyfriend moved her car. He wanted to move it up the block and totally out of sight, but didn't.

Any Takers?

in case you think I'm kidding...
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or in case you're interested

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Oh What Fun

My supervisor is a [insert a wide range of explicitives here].

Pretty self explanitory I think.


Seriously. Get the FUCK over yourself, lady.

Dinner

Me: What are you doing?

Megan: I'm wiping off the extra sauce [from the chicken on to the broccoli].

Me: And you are using the broccoli as a sponge? A loofah?

Megan: There is a method to my madness. Just because you don't like applesauce.
[side note: applesauce had come with my dinner. Before this bit there was a conversation about how I do not do the whole 'fruit with meat' thing.]

Me: We're not talking about applesauce...

Megan: You're gay.
[side note the second: ah, any argument's trump card]

Me: [after nearly choking on my dinner from laughing] Touche.

Still the Prettiest

Watching the LoTR Trilogy. The first one was on TnT the other night, now I'm getting towards the end of the Two Towers. RoTK is next.

Sam will kill you if you try anything.

Fun Day

It's takes me a while to get appropriately angry.

What's appropriate you ask?

Depends on the situation or person.

Hehe

Made me chuckle.



"Oh for the love of Pete."

"Who's Pete? Someone I should know about??"

Blasphemy!

[In a jewelry store]

Mom: So what are you going to buy for me?

Me: How about that nice little 2 carat number over there?

Mom: Oh, yes. I like that one.

Me: For $2,000 less you can have the 1 and a 1/4 carat ring instead.

Mom: Blasphemy!! Nothing less than 2 carats! Nothing!!


I love you, Mom. You always make me laugh.

Sick

Stayed home sick from work today.

And I have tomorrow off.

Yay for two days off in a row. Not yay for feeling crap though

Damn

Spent the night at Megan's last night. Good thing too, cause we were pretty trashed.

Micheal's sells these rather large novelty drinking glasses. A while ago I got us each one. We filled them up last night. So technically I only had one drink.


It was one huge drink though.