Pat Robertson

Not really though.
Everyone else has beaten that horse to death by now.
If only they would turn the switch on Pat next ;P

Although I will touch on a topic equally if not more disturbing.

Britney Spears going to be a mom soon. Very soon.

[huge collective shudder]

SnoCone

Me: Put your money away.
Megan: No.
Me: Put your money away!
Megan: No!!
Me: Mom! Megan is trying to give me money!
Mom: [to Megan] Stop that.
Me: Haha!

Went to visit the parents this past weekend. Went to a reunion on Saturday, and the Dutchess County Fair on Sunday. Fun was had by all. There was a massive list of things that had to be accomplished while at the fair. Among which were: buy fudge, ride the ferris wheel, buy tempura, buy cotton candy, buy zeppoles, but a carmel/candy apple [seeing a pattern here?], buy snocones, etc. The incident above was while Megan and I were buying snocones. Despite what Meg may believe, I can afford to pay for her $2 snocone.

That, and no matter whose mother it is...you often feel compelled to listen [especially if it is my mother.]

Tired

Calling in sick to work today, because I feel like hell and got absolutely no sleep last night. That of course means that a) I don't get paid for the day, and b) the rest of the week will suck.

Oh, and happy birthday to my mother.

Walking Away

by LifeHouse

Sun goes down
As the city lights
Pave their way
Through the darkest nights
Rain drops fall
As an old man cries
Never thought
To ever think twice
Of all he had
Of all he lost
A selfish life I guess
Comes with the cost

Hey remember me, I remember you walking away
Hey remember me, I remember you walking away

Same old street
Just a different name
Same old house
Just the family's changed
Picket fence
The windows stained
Freedom spelled
By a man in chains
The silence
Is all we have to give
And memories of a life
That I wished we lived

Hey remember me, I remember you walking away
Hey remember me, I remember you walking away

From all that you made
That you lost
Or threw away
Trade it in for a brand new life
But I can't
Can't let go
Can't turn around
Hold my head high
And walk away

Hey remember me, I remember you walking away
Hey remember me, I remember you walking away

A Guide To The Ivy Leagues

* From the Friars Club Bible of Jokes, Pokes, Roasts and Toasts

A Guide to the Ivy Leagues:

Brown: Hey, kids! Is half your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a shitload of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN!!!

Columbia: Hey, kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? Are you planning on transferring to another Ivy school after your freshman year? COME TO COLUMBIA!!!

Harvard: Hey kids! Do you hate teachers? I mean really hate them? Do you never want to have another teacher again? And what about a social life? Do you hate that too? COME TO HARVARD!!!

Princeton: Hey, kids! Do you have any idea what the fuck an eating club is? Are you pompous? Can you learn to be? Have you always dreamed of living in the great state of New Jersy? COME TO PRINCETON!!!

Penn: Hey kids! Did you like high school a lot? How about 4 more years of the same? Are you dying to visit scenic west Philadelphia? Does the concept of rigorous academics scare you? COME TO PENN!!!

Cornell: Hey, kids! Do you hate intimacy? Are you interested in jumping off high places? Have you ever wanted to converse with future hotel managers? COME TO CORNELL!!!

Yale: Hey, kids! Do you want to get shot? COME TO YALE!!!

Dartmouth: Hey, kids! Do you hate civilization? Looking to get away from stuff like culture and people? Do you like to drink? Do you like to drink some more? Do you like to sexually harass women? Do you like to continue to drink? And what's your feeling on drinking? COME TO DARTMOUTH!!!


Extra-Special Bonus Schools

MIT: Hey, kids! Are you a freakish nerd? Do you want to be? Do you hate doing anything that doesn't involve math? That's right, math! Math math math math math! COME TO MIT!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Wellesley: Hey, kids! Are you a psycho feminist bitch who likes to hit men? Do you like having short hair? Do you think you are a lesbian? Do you wanna be a lesbian? COME TO WELLESLEY!!!

University of California at Berkeley: Hey, dude! Do you like walking around campus naked? Do you like to march? Are you in Greenpeace? Do you enjoy harassing school officials? Do you enjoy clashing with police? Wow... COME TO BERKELEY!!!

Care To Join Me?

My high score is 1025.5

What's yours?

The Couch

A while ago, my girlfriend and I were walking through a mall. I was looking for a birthday present for my mother. We were in some store or another and I found something that I thought she might like. As we turned to leave, we found ourselves facing the furniture section.

And there it was.

The most perfect couch on God's green earth. It was like we had obtained upholstered nirvana. Seriously, it was amazing. We have very similar tastes and like opinions for sure, but total, 100% mutual agreement is not always reached. [Hell, we just recently agreed on a baby name for a girl. I shudder to think of the battle for a boy's name that is sure to ensue ;) ]

But this...this perfection thy name is couch was truly awesome.

Too bad it wouldn't fit in the apartment. Or rather up the stairs into the apartment. It was none too cheap either.

We All

have been there, haven't we?

5 Finger Discount

Now this is a tad ridiculous.

We all know people steal from the workplace. At my last job, all the office supplies were in a cabinet with a lock on it.

People are taking things from work. Boxes of laundry detergent, canisters of powdered iced tea, sugar, boxes of microwave popcorn, tea, coffee, bottles of bleach, trash bags, etc.

It's bad enough when investigators steal supplies to use in their labs. Because we all know that these objects did not grow little legs or wings and leave.


But the funniest part was when we were just about to go leave, one of us picks up a box that has three gallon sized bottles of bleach and says, "I'm ready to go home now."

Damned if we weren't all on the floor laughing.

Happy Anniversary

To my Mom and Dad.

30 years they have been married.

And for those who are wondering...pearl is the traditional 30th anniversary gift.

Happy Birthday

To my blog. Who turns 1 year old today.

Not too shabby really.

Get Well Soon

So my dad has been in the hosiptal for the past couple of days due to a blood clot in his leg.

But this is the part that gets me.

My father, while certainly not a spring chicken any more, has had his share of aches and pains. Especially in his legs. Well his leg had been hurting him for many days when he decided to go to the doctor.

What did the doctor say upon examination?

It could be a muscle cramp or...it could be a blood clot.

A sonogram later confirmed one large blot clot.

To me, that seems like a pretty wide range. And also, cramps usually go away. If they don't, there is usually something slightly more serious going on.

But that is just my layman opinion.